Annual IEP - year 3

It's been two years since Ashlynn was first identified as having CAS.  She is now almost 5.  At her first IEP meeting, I remember praying that she would talk.  If she would just talk, everything would be okay.

Last year, she was talking, but they explained she had a hard time fitting in with her peer group.  She would tend to just repeat what others said, but she was at least "staying in the game" with this strategy.  At that meeting, I remember they also said they were concerned with her attention.  At one of the parent teacher conferences last year, they told me she couldn't identify the letters of her name.  I worked on it every night.  I bought letter puzzles, alphabet cards, and we practiced identifying the letters of her name and sequencing them.

This year, she can identify ALL the letters of her name.  She notices them on billboards and store signs.  She has this down....it's just she has 20 more letters to learn before she goes to Kindergarten next year.  Sweet Jesus, why do babies need to know so much so early now!!

They remain concerned with her attention.  It doesn't really look like ADHD, but maybe it's something we need to look at later.  Oh, and then there is the cognitive test.  They want one of those in the Spring too.  I don't want a cognitive test.  My immediate reaction is "no."  However, Deb, her private SLP and my friend pointed out that I should find out the reason they want the test.  If they want it to determine a label....no.  If they want it to find out other information to help her programming, maybe.

I'm just worried because with her difficulties with fine motor skills, speech and language, and visual motor.....I know the score is going to come out low, and quite frankly, I can't look at that right now.  Maybe I'm in denial, but I just don't see how they can get an accurate score when she has so many difficulties that could influence it right now.

Another issue I was flabbergasted to learn, was that Ashlylnn can't categorize.  This is where children identify items based on similarities.  They sort items.  I clarified if they tested her receptively so she didn't have to name them.  They did.  The school SLP said she had three categories: clothing, toys, and food and she didn't categorize them correctly.  They did say attention could have been a factor, but then I took her to private SLP and she confirmed it.  Seriously??  I just did an activity this summer that she rocked it.  Sigh.  I don't know why she's not transferring it, but I can't believe I have another basic skill that we need to work on.

Her goal to sequence pictures was not met.  I knew this though.  She simply doesn't look at the pictures and their details to realize what comes first, second, or third.  I need to work on that.

And this folks is why even after attending probably hundreds of IEP meetings in my career, I absolutely LOATHE them when it's my own kid.  Despite all of the positives ( oh did I mention she's asking questions and socializing with peers), I have to hear all of the problems.  All of the things I need to work on and my shoulders feel so heavy.  Despite this though, I have to pull on my big girl panties and attack it.  I have to put aside my fears and just step one foot in front of the other.

I'm choosing to think about ALL the gains she's made in PT and OT recently.  The PT said she could navigate ALL the playground equipment now like any other kid, and even shows beginning swinging skills of pumping her legs that other kids her age don't have yet.  My husband beamed.  This is his area.  This is his hard work paying off.

Her legs and core are getting stronger.  In private OT she just pedaled her Big Wheel for 14 consecutive rotations!!  She fatigues, but she's getting stronger.

Her power wheel that was too much to motor plan pushing the throttle AND steering.....well she's doing both now on our sidewalk.

In private swim lessons she's now holding her breath for 5 seconds while she kicks her legs for two laps straight before she tires.  When I watch it, I cry because this girl almost drowned and she got right back up and attacks it.  Every time.  She attacks it.

If she attacks it, what excuse do I have?  My husband says every goal we've made she meets.  She does, it's just so much work and it stresses me out.  I'm terrified she'll have dyslexia on top of all of her learning difficulties.  I hate to see her struggle.  She's struggled all of her short life.  When will she get a break?