New worries

It's no secret that my daughter has a short attention span.  I always worry of course since I'm her mom that it might be more serious than just the average toddler one minute attention span; however, today her school SLP expressed some concern as well.

She asked me to come in next Wednesday to discuss possible strategies for keeping her on task in a group setting.  She said that taking her out has been working great for speech, but they don't want to have to take her out of the room for every activity they are doing.  I obviously agree, but, sigh, I have to admit my heart sank.  I knew she has had trouble with attention, but much like her speech, I was hoping that no one else noticed and that I was just being an overly worried mom.  Having it pointed out by someone else makes my heart very heavy...again.

My poor little girl.  I know that when things do get hard for her she has a tendency to change the subject (or switching her attention to something else since she can't really verbalize much yet); however, she has a very difficult time attending to anything without getting distracted by something else.  What is normal, what is not, I don't know.  I know it's a little too young to diagnose ADD, but I hope to God she doesn't have that too.  She doesn't deserve this..any of this.  She's the sweetest, most vibrant, lovable little girl who shouldn't have to fight for everything she does or learns.  I know it's not fair for all the other children who have disabilities either, but this is MY baby girl and I have a right to feel sad for her. 

I also know as her mom I have to be strong for her.  I have to be the champion in her corner, her advocate, her soft landing, her biggest fan.  I want to do everything I can to make sure she can be anything she wants to be, and be what our Lord meant for her to be.

When my husband was diagnosed with bipolar disorder nine months into our marriage, there were people, many people, who told me that at least I knew before we had kids.  Yes, they were implying I shouldn't have them.  However, that's not what God commands us to do in the bible.  He didn't say go forth and multiply unless you have some disease, ailment, or defect.  I believe He didn't say that because He told us that we are all made in His image and likeness.  My husband says all the time how she is just like him, and it scares him.  It scares me too because his road was not easy.  But he's here.  He overcame everything.  He overcame all the odds and now he is a loyal husband, doting father, and brilliant engineer.  God had a purpose for him, and He has one for Ashlynn too.  However, it doesn't make it any easier.