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SLP Mommy of Apraxia: Just love

Monday, January 13, 2014

Just love

It's really not ok to develop a severe disliking for a child.  They are, after all, just a child.  However, there is a little girl at Ashlynn's school who is very hard to like.  She's rude, rolls her eyes, and bosses Ashlynn around.  She has mocked my son (who's a baby) when he was talking, refused to say "hello" to Ashlynn even as Ashlynn greets her with a cheerful "hello," and demanded Ashlynn stop hugging a little boy in her class among other things.  All of this has happened in the first five minutes before school started, so I can't help what wonder how this girl is to Ashlynn the rest of the day; and my anger stemming from somewhere in the depths of me, begins to rise giving way to some not so nice feelings toward this little girl!

The other day for the class holiday party, I couldn't go so it was just my husband and Ashlynn.  Feeling like I was missing out, I text messaged him begging for a picture.  He took the most adorable picture of Ashlynn.  I smiled as I saw it, and then I saw she was sitting next to......that girl.  Why?  "Why is she sitting next to this little girl who has an attitude problem and is ALWAYS rude to her?" I huffed in my mind.


Well today, as I dropped her off for school, we were once again graced by the little girl's rudeness.  She refused to say hello, and only spoke to tell Ashlynn to get away from the door, declaring SHE was first.  Ashlynn backed away and the girl with an air of haughtiness gestured, "YOU can get behind me."

Okay really??  She's four!  What the heck!  Ashlynn sweetly nodded her head and answered "yes?"  Of course since she was in fact there first, there wasn't much I could say, as the rules of preschool are very black and white.  However, the rules of preschool don't dictate my feelings, which were only growing into more of a cancer now.

As I left the school, I called my mom asking her how she dealt with these problems?  My kid's only four and I'm already mad at her "friends" and developing hate for a mere child.  I need to get it together.  My mom had great advice, including "let go and let God."  She also reminded me that in life we all have to deal with these people at different times, and unfortunately, our kids have to learn that too even though it may hurt us.  She made me feel better, and I thought I had put it to rest.

I started thinking though. Ashlynn has only love in her heart.  She's the target, not me; and yet she still tells her hello everyday with a big smile.  She still hugs kids when they want hugs (or maybe even if they don't), and she still sits with her at a party, possibly because no one else will.  I know it wasn't because she doesn't have any friends, because all the teachers assure me frequently how well liked Ashlynn is and how she is friends with everyone.  I realized I needed to take a tip from Ashlynn.  There is no room for hatred in our heart.  Love is not only easier, but it's kinder and makes us feel better.  This little girl is unhappy, but Ashlynn always has a smile.  She has a smile because she dismisses the eye rolling, the lack of manners or social etiquette, and just wants to love.  If Ashlynn can love so simply, than so can I.

She's a real class act that Ashlynn.

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